Hallelujah!!!! I have so much joy that the one true living God has humbled me to the point that I can see the big huge plank in my eye. Hallelujah!!!!! He has shown me my sin and has had mercy and forgiven me for all past, present, and future sin. He has humbled me to the point that I am not so self righteous as to judge others for sins committed that do not directly have anything to do with me.

      When i hate have i not committed murder in Gods eyes. If  I have looked at another man and thought he was handsome have I not committed adultery in Gods eyes ( I have not done that honey. just an example). I have really had forgiveness on my mind for months. whether it is me needing to forgive or knowing that someone needs to forgive me. It has been something that has occupied my brain space for a while.

     Unforgiveness is like a festering wound that hurts and is infected and full of pus. It’s ugly and painful.

      Thank God that everything that happens is a learning experience that helps us to grow in wisdom and faith. As believers we are being made into saints but let us not forget that big huge plank in our eye before we try to remove the speck of dirt out of our brothers.

Madame Guyon   (1647-1717)

Love the Lord God with all your heart and soul and strength.  Deut. 6:4-9

Jesus talks about this again in Matthew 22 as the most important commandment in scripture. Moses gives the Israelites some great instruction: Write this commandment on your hands and forehead, post it on your front door and all your interior doors, and talk about it at breakfast, at work, and when you are getting ready for bed.

We want to love God and we get sidetracked too easily. All day is a time to worship. From the time we get up, on the way to school and work, on the way home, at home, at rest. There is always a time to worship and teach your children about the Creator of the universe who knows them far better than we are capable. Don’t get caught up in the craziness of life and forget God.

Be encouraged that there is One who longs for you and loves you with a passionate intensity. Protect that treasured relationship and seek God in everything, every day. Not just one hour a week. He deserves more than that.

   I don’t really hate people. I’m angry. I am going to be looking and studying on God’s word to try and overcome my anger the way God tells me too. I am in school of instruction for my soul. God is growing me in patience, maturity, and wisdom. I will try to except my trials with joy because God loves me and sent his only sinless son, Jesus, to take the punishment for me and all who believe.

    Sometimes anger is an appropriate response to injustice and sin, but when it goes unchecked or is misdirected, it can cause great destruction. Stewing over resentment takes people’s focus off God. Venting frustration through silent rage or explosive temper tantrums just leads to negative tension.

    In Hebrews 10:24 God has a better idea of what we can do with our energy. ” And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.”  Thank you to my brothers and sisters in Christ who offer support and encouragement, love and hope, when life gets crazy.

    I’m looking forward to redirecting my anger into love and God’s work.

As I sit here typing on this keyboard, my eyes are burning from a restless night and lots of crying. God always seems to pick the middle of the night to speak to me.

I have really been struggling about something for almost a year. Pushing it back and pushing it back. Last night it came crashing into my bedroom while I slept, like a freight train. Poor Michael, he has to get up early and he is always the one next to me when God opens my eyes. He just listened while I poured my heart out. I thought by the time I left for work I had it under control. But the thinking and crying started again. Uncontrollably the tears fell down my face as I drove down the road, crying out to God to help me understand. Still crying when I got to work, I knew I couldn’t be in the same room with fourteen 4-yr-olds. So I went to the sanctuary and put my face flat on the altar and cryed again to God: “I am a lover, not a hater. Please Lord, take this hate from me!” I regained control and went to sign in when a co-worker said, “smile Jamie.” And of course you know that sent me right back to instability.

Thank God I work at the church I attend. My pastor was right there to counsel me this morning. I can only imagine what he was thinking at first. Almost hysterically crying I told him “I’m ashamed to say it…..I HATE PEOPLE!” I felt torn and beaten. Broken like never before. Like I was wrestling with God like Jacob wrestled with God  in that tent. I felt like God opened my eyes and I was still wrestling with what to do. I have a really great, caring pastor who talked with me and explained some things and prayed for me. I was able to go to my class and I have made it through the day. I texted Michael “I talked to Mr.Porter and I feel better.” He texted back “Wonderful. I should have called him at 3:30 this a.m. haha”

In Matthew 19:16-30 there is a story of a rich young man who comes to Jesus and asks what he needed to do to get eternal life. Jesus told him to follow the commandments. The man replied that he had kept all the commandments. He had not committed murder or adultery. He had not stolen or given false testimony. He had honored his mother and father and loved his neighbor as himself. Then Jesus answered by telling him to sell all his posessions and give it to the poor, then come and follow him. The man went away sad because he had great wealth and could not part with it.

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Jesus answers with a series of responses to show the man that he has a need for a righteousness far greater then his own- the righteousness of the Messiah.
The man thinks he has done everything right until Jesus reveals to him the inner workings of his unrighteous heart. He doesn’t really love his neighbor or God enough to sell his posessions.
This story is so eye opening for me. It really is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle. I think that if Jesus told me to sell everything and give it to the poor. I would, but then I think of this man and even the disciples and John The Baptist and our human nature of skepticism.

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I know I can be so selfish. We are planning a yard sale for the spring and we were asking the kids what would they want to do with the money we raised. One said ” I don’t know?”, one said “lets get one of those flat tv’s that go on the wall.”, and the other said” Lets give it to someone who needs it.”
I pray that God gives us all a heart for giving. Sometimes we might think we don’t have anything but if we have a computer to read this post, we have a lot more then some.
What does the story of the rich young ruler make you think about?

Check it out. It is a blog about living together in peace and harmony.

People who know me might would say that I can be kind of dingy sometimes. One of many examples to give you a laugh is when I was in high school I took Taxidermy, thinking , it would teach me to do people’s taxes and the first day of school I walked into class and there were stuffed animals everywhere. I still didn’t get it. I thought it was just a really weird math teacher. It wasn’t until he started to teach us the bones in the hand that I realized this was not what I thought.
I pretty much take what people say seriously. I would consider myself a smart person but for some reason I just have these moments where I just don’t get it.
I remember in the 80′s I saw a study on classical versus rock in high school students and testing. The students who listened to the classical music before a test did better.
I have always liked classical music along with all other music but now I have decided to put it in my rotation.
I’ve been doing this for afew months now and Michael says I am definitely smarter.hahahaha!
Classical music is beautiful in melody and is very soothing and mind opening.
Everyone should try it. you might like it.

   The laundry is never done. I clean a room and move to the next and go back minutes later and the clean room is a mess again. I should have a recycling center in my back yard, for all the paper and plastic littering each room.

    God has blessed me with 3 beautiful healthy children who can mess up.

   So why does it get on my nerves? Why do I sometimes feel like a slave?

I guess being a mother has it’s ups and downs. But mostly ups. I guess I will trade the clean house for laughter and love. I definitely think that’s a better trade.

  16-23: These men are grumblers and faultfinders; they follow their own evil desires;they boast about themselves and flatter others for their own advantage. But, dear friends, remember what the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ foretold. They said to you, ” In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires. These are the men who will divide you, who follow mere natural instincts and do not have the spirit.

   But you dear friends build yourselves up in your most holy faith and pray in the Holy Spirit. Keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.

                        Do what is right even in the face of opposition.

   tHE BOOK OF  jUDE SOUNDS LIKE A PASSIONATE WARNING TO BELIEVERS WHOSE FAITH IS UNDER ATTACK FROM IMMORAL AND REBELLIOUS ELEMENTS WITHIN’ THE CHURCH. sOMETIMES PEOPLE IN THE CHURCH CAN BECOME ARROGANT AND SLANDER OR CURSE THE MORE HUMBLE AND SPIRITUAL. aLL FOR THEIR OWN DESIRES.

     we ARE TO CONDUCT OURSELVES WITH HUMILITY. oUR RESPONSIBILITY IS TO SUBMIT TO THE AUTHORITY OF God HIMSELF, NOT TO TAKE HIS AUTHORITY ON OURSELVES.

     WE ARE ALL “TEMPTABLE” PEOPLE AND CAN NEVER ASSUME WE ARE SAFE FROM SINFUL CHOICES.

     JUDE 8:2- MERCY, PEACE, AND LOVE BE YOURS IN ABUNDANCE.